I have photographed so many expecting mamas that have been through a loss. A rainbow baby is a baby that is born after a miscarriage or death and it’s the hope after the storm. I can’t image how hard it must be going through a loss but one thing that’s important to remember is “There is hope!”. Many families don’t know how to cope with the pain. When Dulce reached out to me, I asked her to share her story in hopes that we can help other moms that are going through this. This was her first time sharing something so personal and in her own words ” As hard as it was writing this, I felt that I needed to share it”. Read her story below.
“My period was two days late. I ran to the bathroom for a pregnancy test, waited a few minutes for the result and there it was … “Pregnant”. I got on my knees and started crying. I thanked God for you, my baby! I was so excited, I wondered how you would be, if you were a boy or a girl, if I would be a good mom..
Four days later I started having abdominal pains and started bleeding. And this is how my nightmare started. I went to the Emergency room, they performed a blood test and said they would see me right away. There we were, my boyfriend, my stepdaughter and I, all siting in the waiting room, waiting to hear someone calling my name. Hours passed, five hours to be exact and we decided to go home and rest. I was afraid and in doubt and surely around midnight the pain was back. This time I started bleeding. I ran to the bathroom, and all I could think was “I already lost you”. I felt like I was drowning, I started to cry.
We went back to the Emergency Room, they performed another blood test and two hours later the doctor came back to confirm what I already knew but refused to accept. My 8 week old baby was gone.
Fortunately I did not have to go through a medical intervention but the sonogram indicated that my baby was forming outside the uterus and sooner or later, this would have happened.
I thought I hit rock bottom. I cried silently when I wanted to scream and I forced myself to smile while my soul was grieving. My family was far, I wish I would have been able to receive a hug from my mother or my older sister. I questioned God so many times, I even doubted his love for me, but at the same time I asked Him to help me understand why I had to go through this. My heart really hurt, sometimes it even hurt to exist.
I didn’t know then but a few months later I received the greatest gift from heaven, another baby! I understood then that it was not the bottom I hit but the beginning of a new path. Now I have a little angel in heaven and another one on the way that I already love with all my heart!
A rainbow baby is a child born after the loss of a previous baby. It is the understanding that the beauty of a rainbow does not deny the ferocity of a storm. When a rainbow appears it does not mean that the storm never happened or that the family is not dealing with their pain. What it means is that something beautiful and full of light appeared in the darkness of the clouds.
If you are going through something similar now, do not lose hope! The storm will pass and your days will be illuminated with a beautiful rainbow.“
If you have a story to tell that could encourage other expecting moms, please contact our studio here. We’d love to hear and share your story!
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